Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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