sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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