just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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