Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
