She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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