Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
