I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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