Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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