I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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