you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
