why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
