your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
