Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
