No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
