i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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