He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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