Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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