Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
