I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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