Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
