I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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