i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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