It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize