Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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