oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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