tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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