What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
