my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
