You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
