I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish you could order shots online.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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