don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
