This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
