i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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