Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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