just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
