Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
