maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
