i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
