Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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