All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
