Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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