Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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