Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
