I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
