Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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