i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
