how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize