I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
