I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
