I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
