My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
pray to the hookup gods
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
