i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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