We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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