the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
