just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I deserve this hangover.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
