? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
