so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
