No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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