i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
