My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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