is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
