YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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