Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
