is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
