i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He? As in you personified your dick?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
God I need to hump something, right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
