I'm lost and stupid without you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
