she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
