my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize