i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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