dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
